Champions #1: Ragtag

Diner: The Times They Aren't A Changing

So, I wrote an extended scene from the film Diner for a class, and figured, "Hey, why not post it somewhere?' So here you go, true believers!

Why We As An Industry Need "The Boys"

Let's stop and think for a sec, folks. When was the last time we saw a deconstruction of a superhero film in which the superheroes were actually torn to pieces with anything other than a shrug and a knowing wink to the audience? If you said Deadpool, you're wrong, because it embraces the cliches it spends most of it's time mocking, which was the same deal with Kick-Ass, which actually has the message of "Regular people can't be superheroes...unless they know what they're doing." 

Given how oversaturated this genre as a whole is threatening to become, I think it's time we get a superhero property that actually hates superheroes. Ladies and gentleman, that's why we need The Boys. For those of you unaware of The Boys, it's a comic series written by Garth Ennis, who famously hates all but a handful of superheroes, detailing the story of a CIA black-ops unit tasked with keeping unruly at best and monstrous at worst superheroes in line. It's darkly comedic, disturbing, and an incredibly good read if you're willing to go all the way through. 

The reason I think we should all be excited for the Boys is because we have yet to get a superhero movie that really portrays superheroes saving the day as the wrong thing. In Man of Steel, Clark chooses to have a brawl with Zod in a highly populated city center, and the sequel chooses to ignore this plotline and focus on  Superman being framed for a shooting in an African village or something. In Civil War, we're supposed to see the Sokovia Accords as a potentially good idea, but it completely ignores the fact that a) a dozen people died while the Avengers regularly saved millions of lives, but that's somehow important to government that are willing to bomb villages full of innocents if it means killing terrorists, b) the actual bill would turn the Avengers into a UN-sanctioned military squad, and c) the incident that led to the bill being signed led to a dozen deaths, when hundreds could have died, alongside the only person capable of leading the Avengers. 

In superhero movies focused on deconstructing heroism, they ultimately come to the conclusion that the heroes are always doing the right thing. The Boys never comes to that conclusion, and the heroes in the story are portrayed as destructive and idiotic, regularly doing more harm than good. How good would it be to see a superhero knock over a building full of innocents, then actually get called out on it, and be wrong? Hell, that's how the series opens. 

The idea of superheroes being totally useless to the greater good is an incredibly fascinating idea that will never really be explored by Marvel or DC (and nor should they), so why not let a third party (in this case, Garth Ennis and Seth Rogen) tell the story I (and you) want to see? 

Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below.

Rating the Superhero Show Finales from Worst to Best

So, superhero TV season has come to a close, and it's time for me to give my two cents on all those finales. Which were fun, which were failures? Read and find out! (Also, if you're expecting my two cents on Gotham, Agents of Shield, and Agent Carter, prepare to be disappointed, because I'm super behind on those.) ALSO, SPOILERS.

5. The Flash

After a season of clunky pacing and false starts, Flash looked ready to redeem itself with an exciting, fast-paced finale that raised tantalizing questions about the Multiverse and dispatched big bad Zoom in a fitting fashion...only to lurch awkwardly into a needlessly depressing last 5 minutes in which a mopey Barry severs all ties and destroys the timeline as we know it, raising more problems than it solves. (So, I guess Wally wasn't a speedster after, or Jesse for that matter.) 

Numerical Score: 4/10

Reaction Score: This

4. Jessica Jones 

Although the show lost a lot of steam after it's first 10 episodes, Jessica Jones more than made up for it with an intense conclusion that focused entirely on the series's strongest aspects. Not only did it perfectly set-up the Defenders, a Luke Cage spin-off, and the show's next season, it also finally brought an end to Jessica's arc with Kilgrave, though killing off the show's best character could pose some issues in the future. 

Numerical Score: 7/10 

Reaction Score: *satisfied nod*

3. Daredevil

Daredevil took on the seemingly impossible task of introducing not only the Punisher, but also Elektra and the Hand this season, but rather than stumble and drop the ball (or balls), it brought them together in a well-done fashion. Despite the disturbing lack of miniguns, the Punisher and Matt team-up against the Hand is a satisfying scene, as is Matt Murdock's crusade finally blowing up in his face and costing him damn near everything. It's not a Daredevil story without a bittersweet ending, and the show delivered, though the lack of real closure to the major plotline is odd...to say the least. 

Numerical Score: 8/10 

Reaction Score: "Now I have to wait a year. Goddamnit."

2. Arrow

There are times when TV manages to transcend it's lower budget and deliver a truly cinematic experience. Becoming a tightly-knit action thriller in it's final episode will certainly be that moment for Arrow, as it brought the meltdown of Damien Dahrk to a brutal conclusion that still found time to reflect on how this war has affected the people fighting it, including Oliver taking steps to becoming the Green Arrow we know and love with a phenomenal and awe-inspiring speech delivered masterfully by Stephen Amell. Of course, including an epic street brawl helps. My only issue with this finale was that it feels too much like a finale, wrapping characters up in a nice bow even though there's going to be a season 5, and that the Flash finale has probably rendered it pointless, so thanks for that, idiots.

Numerical Score: 9/10 

Reaction Score: *Applause*

1. Legends of Tomorrow

After a rocky start, Legends ended on an incredible high-note that singlehandedly removed the show's weakest aspects in an organic fashion and had one of the most cathartic beatdowns in TV history. After a season of watching him slip through their fingers, the Legends killing three Savages is immensely cathartic, and leads to the removal of the Hawks, the show's worst characters. It could've ended there and I would've been satisfying, but the Berlanti crew throw in a JSA cliffhanger, leaving my jaw scraping the floor and eagerly awaiting next season. 

Numerical Score: 10/10

Reaction Score: "OHHHHHHHHHH!"

A Troubling Confession

I have something to say, you guys, and you're probably not gonna like it. But hey, this is a place where people can speak their minds, dammit, and I'm gonna speak my mind. Here goes...I think this season of Arrow is way better than this season of Flash. WHAT? Blasphemy! Get your torches and burn me in the street and all that, but you'll realize I'm right. And then you'll (probably) regret killing me. 

This season of Flash has been a total mess structurally and pacing-wise. A fun, enjoyable mess that I really enjoy watching and discussing, certainly, but still way too messy for it's own good. For one thing, it's all over the place story-wise, and it really hasn't been until the Earth-2 arc that we got the sense the show's writers had figured out what they were doing. Up until then, it's been a lot of awkward wheel-spinning and story set-up. While the Zoom storyline is compelling, the show never seemed as interested in it as it should be, and we've just now unmasked Zoom with only 2-3 episodes left this season. What was another CW show with bad pacing that crippled the story? Oh right, Arrow last season, which enabled Flash to overtake it as the more beloved, both commercially and critically, show. 

Arrow, meanwhile, has stayed consistent and focused this season. Sure, there's been some rough patches (the continued usage of flashbacks struggles to stay relevant to the main plot) but think of how well Arrow is using it's singular focus on the Damien Dahrk to create great storytelling. The Constantine team-up that brings back Sara. Oliver's brutal beatdown of Merlyn. The Vixen team-up. The "redemption" of Andy that showcases the brotherhood and camaraderie of Team Arrow. Even when confronted with immortal lunatic Vandal Savage, the show still found a way to make Oliver's character arc work into an epic storyline organically, and it's all anchored by a strong villain and fascinating mythos. 

Damien Dahrk is everything Arrow's last 3 big bads haven't been. A charming, over-the-top mastermind who doesn't see himself as a hero, or a necessary evil, but just a businessman who really loves his job. Neal McDonough steals every scene he's in, and his power levels are consistent enough that it feels immensely satisfying and justified when Oliver manages to score a victory over him. On the other hand, Zoom was incredibly underused throughout much of Flash, and while it makes his limited appearances much scarier, it leads to us failing to really understand him as a character, especially since the show dragged it's feet into a reveal they should've done some time ago. (Fun fact: I predicted it several weeks before it happened, and was immediately told by everyone that there was no chance that would happen.) Anyway, Zoom's also more-or-less invincible, and while it worked last season because Reverse-Flash was compelling enough to sustain interest, repeating it just feels like Barry hasn't learned anything from the mistakes he's made last season. (Seriously, you go after Zoom with the boot and monologue long enough for him to escape. Everyone on this show is smarter than this.) 

Seriously, just do this again, but with a dozen more heroes.

I'm not saying Zoom's a bad villain, just like how I'm saying Flash isn't a bad show, but it's time the writers did what Arrow's did last season and learned from their mistakes. Focus the storytelling, plan out what you're gonna do, and DO NOT drag out plotlines. Also, stop going on unexplained hiatuses, as it also cripples the pacing of the show. You're doing good, but you could just do better. 

Of course, you could do A LOT worse.